Message Accompanying Submission of Second Draft

From: Ted Striphas <>
Date: August 2, 2011 10:05:20 AM GMT-04:00
To: "Jonathan Sterne, Dr." <>
Subject: revised ijoc essay

Hi Jonathan,

Attached please find my revised essay for IJOC--per your suggestion, now called "The Visible College."  I'm pretty sure everything's in order here; it's certainly in much better shape compared to the last draft I sent you!

A couple of things about the piece: first, I took your advice and reframed it completely.  I basically jettisoned the first two sections, save for a few stray sentences and ideas.  That cut about 2,000 words.  I then developed the essay completely around what was section three (about 1,500 words).  I added about 1,500 words in the form of framing, transitions, and conclusion, which brought the piece to around 3,000 words total, excluding the notes and references.  All that to say, it's a very different essay than the one you read back in June/July, and to my mind it's much better for your heroic editorial intervention.

Apropos of that and the main argument of the essay, I have a proposal for you.  Would you mind if I posted our email correspondence about the piece, in addition to your edited version of the first draft, to my Differences & Repetitions Wiki/project site (  It would be odd, I think, to have made the argument I've made and then to turn around and essentially hide all of the backstory--especially in the case of this essay, which transformed so radically due in no small part to your labor.  Would you be open to my doing that?  For whatever it's worth, I think this is one of those pieces where it's important to "practice what you preach," at least to the extent that I'm able.

Thanks again for all of your patience and input, and do let me know if you need me to make any last changes.  I'll be away visiting family from August 4-13 but should be checking email here and there along the way.

Take care & all the best,


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